Keep Looking for Ways

Joseph Campbell explains an aspect of the Arthurian legends that has always seemed like the most important part, yet the one I had never heard: that the Holy Grail cannot be reached by the same way for any knight. If one knight found the grail, the trail that he took would be grown over, or veer off for any knight that tried to follow suit.

16th Century Tapestry

That's right. The prize and the road are in cahoots to really mess with us. So, it's not your imagination when you try to do something that someone else swears by, and not only does it not work for you, it might actually get you off track and farther away from your goal.

That seems like the makings of a sadistic universe, but the early writers of the those tales had the nature of human needs figured out pretty well. Despite all of their greater hardships, they recognized that our life isn't really ours if we're just following someone else's instructions. We shouldn't disregard a map or signposts left by helpful fellow sojourners. But we still have to adjust for the conditions of our history and temperament. Time-tables and gear are going to be different depending upon the season; rivers can change course, winds change directions, landmarks are worn down or removed. We still have to trust in our ability to reason and make educated guesses. However the path rises up, we soldier on, finding ways to keep going through the maze.

So we don't have to go as far back as Camelot to find this philosophy and encouragement. There's an interview with Alan Alda on Inside the Actor's Studio. I think of him as Hawkeye on M*A*S*H, or the guy in dialogue-heavy Neil Simon and Woody Allen movies. I don't think of him as a great dispenser of wisdom, but his enthusiasm seemed hard-won and protected. He was talking about how he and his wife struggled in the early days of their life together in New York City, trying to get into and stay in Acting, the quest of their choosing.

"It's very tough. You gotta know that because the people you deal with, they're going to be in business for themselves. They're not going to be in your business. You're spending a lot of time here [the studio] learning how to be artists. You're going into a world where art is valued as something bought and sold. You can lend them your talent; don't give them your soul."

As I heard his advice, I noticed that he wasn't offering a map or a formula or a secret to the students. Just a caution, then a challenge, and then encouragement. I can imagine that the Aldas' road to the Theater--  with a capital T, or Hollywood, or wherever showcased their Holy Grail of success-- led to many dark alleys, dead ends, and disappointments. It sounds every bit as daunting as a charge given to a knight to quest after something that could imperil body and spirit.

His challenge is: "You can rent out your ability, but keep looking for ways to do what you started out wanting to do. It's very hard to find those ways. Don't stop."

Okay, when I hear anything remotely close to cheerleading, it sort of flattens me out. That is usually because I am hearing it with the attitude of, "I have to go find success for the sake of success, or for someone else's pride in me, or because I feel like I should be using my gifts as if they were Christmas presents I no longer play with." I feel guilty and burdened and enervated.

But what I liked was the reason behind his enthusiasm; that finding ways-- not one way, or the best way, or the most tested way, but the finding of ways itself-- is us living the life we always wondered about. It's less a call to do things "my way", but more an observation that these ways we find will reflect and tell the tale of us. That part, and not the Holy Grail, is so important that the way will even conspire against you if are just whipping a tired horse toward some legendary impersonal treasure, no matter how noble.

Alda concludes with encouragement and the confidence of the faithful: "I'm telling you, even when you're fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty, you can still find ways to do interesting stuff. Don't let yourself slicken up and become a product. Stay this way. Stay a kid. It's what I try to do and that's the part that makes me happy. That's the part that gives meaning to my life professionally… this kind of glorious hunger to try to get better and try to really be an artist. And I hope that you can stick with that and have the courage to do that."

I hope I can. Next time I will show you the work of someone who has found that courage.

To help my own courage stick, I need to remember "Find ways because that's the part."